xoxo

I'm pissed.
I'm hurt.
I'm disappointed.

Why does it always have to be you who is always inflicting those pain on me. I chose to behave indifferent, nonchalant to your nonsensical nagging and insults. Still, my nonchalance does not mean that I'm not hurt in the inside. How often do I have to struggle to fight back those tears? You know it better than I do. Stop pushing all those blames to my friends and my other commitments. Because, it's all you. You. If it wasn't for you, would I have so much regrets and face with so much hurt now. You know your words hurt me more than anything, but you chose to put it across to me as harshly as possible. I gave up my dreams, my choices for you. All for you. But did you appreciate it? I hate it when I have to face you every single day with you throwing insults right to my face. I had to distant myself from you. You. Made me dread going home. Still, you never seem to understand why. All you could do was to accuse me of disappointing you, failing you of all the dreams and aspirations, of hurting you every single day.
Why can't we just live in peace and stop hurting each other?
I hate it when my studies are everything that we can ever talked about and every single time we talked about my studies all I ever hear from you are praises of others and discouraging words for mine. I tried to do well, tried to make you proud, tried to accept your choice of education for me. What do I get in return? Tell me what do I get in return.
When you chose to give me that beating, those insults, did you even spare a thought for me? Did it ever occur to you that those tears weren't 'cause of anger but hurt and disappointment.
Fuck it 'cause you deemed that I'm incompetent, I'm a disappointment &failure.
How often do I have to put it across to you that I'm trying my best and I don't need you to plan for every fucking single detail of my life.
You said you love me,
but your love is crushing me.
Why don't we both wake up to our ideas that we're not fitted to fulfill each others' wishes.