With a crushed up heart

2009-02-09T22:09:00.002+08:00

'Cause you keep your love to your special someone and your friends as well.

&some things can't be the same again the second time.
Losing a friend may be more painful than losing your lover, no?

Superficial friends. True friends.
It's not that easy to differentiate right?

I'm moving to somewhere nice (:

2009-01-28T13:40:00.002+08:00

Baby and I are all right already!
:D
Maybe just for the time being.

Ykno what.
I hate NS!!!! D:
MY FREAKING HEART SANK LIKE IDK WHAT WHENEVER I THINK OF THE FACT THAT HE IS GOING IN SOON.

Rawrrrrr.
Byebye.

2009-01-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

Copied from xx's blog.

Love is about that electrified feeling when you look into each other's eyes, the wonderful chemistry that you can't explain, together with the sudden psychic power in you to be able to read your lover's mind and their deepest secrets, and having the ability to break through their facades and your own when together, revealing both of your inner selves that we have always feared that others might judge us for, knowing that we will be now seen differently and still be loved the same, or even more for who we really are inside. Its more than just the mundane affections of love, sex, romanticism and the overused "i love you". Its about showing how you feel instead of just saying it, it's about trust and respect. Knowing that your lover will be there for you at your highest and lowest, knowing that he'll catch you when you fall, knowing that he'll try his best to protect you from what ever evil that may come. Love isnt about spending time together, but knowing that you'll be there for each other always. Somehow in a way it sounds like friendship, it is, but it requires more understanding and that wee bit of chemistry that you can't explain. That's what makes it special, cause only the two will feel the same, and experience this one of a kind journey we drew for ourselves together.

Angelina fell down on day2 of CNY and her dad's car went haywire on the same day too.
How great.

Ykno sometimes, games noob shouldn't be working in a cybercafe.
Example1:

Ken: Ey, cust cannot play maple today 'cos still patching ok?
Me: Orhhhhh... Why cannot play?
Ken: (with the weird look) Cos patching ma!
Me: Huh, why patching cannot play? What's that?
Ken: ... Nvm, just tell them what I told you.

Example 2:

Me: HELLO! What games are you playing so that I can give you the correct com.
(GuyA &B answered at the same time.)
GuyA: Warcraft
GuyB: Dota
Me: huh?! So is what?
GuyA: (with the you-are-a-noob face) warcraft and dota is the same.
Me: ... D:<

LIKE HOW I KNOW MY BOYFRIEND ONLY TELL ME HE DOTA HE NV TELL ME DOTA IS SOME KINDA MAP WHAT THINGY AND WARCRAFT IS THE NAME OF THE GAME WHAT.

okkk, that's about it. Bye Bunk Hello School.

The difference is that my world revolves around you and your world doesn't revolves only around me. I'm feeling, still feeling still thinking about 1001 stuffs in my head. But, I can't convey them. Difficult it may be, but I can't let go. No, I can but I'm afraid.

It hurts. Badly.
Yet, I'm afraid that our perseverance is a mistake.

2009-01-26T20:44:00.001+08:00

Because, I still can't feel it.
How do I put it across to you?
You're my priority.
But.
What about you?

2009-01-24T18:38:00.004+08:00

(heart squeezes)
Do you ever wonder whether you're important to your loved ones?
Sorry.
I can't feel it.

2009-01-23T00:42:00.001+08:00

JAE ended.
School is starting.
Am I going to allow you to manipulate my future once again?
I never wanted to have control over something so badly...
But you insisted.
Does it occur to you that my happiness is way more important than achievements?
Wait a minute...
I don't even have any achievements to begin with 'cause I went to a JC despite knowing that I don't have the abilities to and screwed up my entire year.
And now.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
Is not only 'cause I lose interest.
The main reason is...
I hate what I am doing.
I can't wait to get out of the f JC and head to a poly to start with a new course that is at least relevant to my life.
However...
Your expectations reasoning experience and whatever shit excuses are stopping me.

I can't even convince myself to be good and stay in a JC mug hard promote ace A's get into local U. 'Cause that's not what I wanted what I chose.
Thinking of my future, arguing with you is making me confused and glum D:<

I can't even make you think in my perspective.

Ykno how much expectations kill?
My parents' expectations are stopping me from going after what I want.
My expectations of you are making me upset 'cause I hoped you'll be able to fulfil what I want but I'll end up in disappointment though.

Baby, our expectations towards this relationship are way too different.
As much as I hoped that you'll be able to meet my expectations, think along my line, I know it's impossible. Ykno, sometimes compromising doesn't make all things work?

I love you, Baby.

2009-01-15T23:45:00.002+08:00

Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect,
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything's all right between us.

I've loads to say. But nothing gets outta my mouth. The words and sentences don't exactly convey how I feel what I think.
Baby I know you've put it a lot into this relationship to make things work. It's always me right? Always me who expect ridiculous things from you. That's why it always lead to quarrels.
But, you knew all along that I'm not that independent. I needed someone to be with me.
I'm sorry I'm not giving you enough space.
But, I'm trying over here.
Can you see it?

I knew you tried your best.
I'm imperfect, full of flaws.
No matter how much assurance there are,
it's a matter of fact that I don't fit the criteria.
And I won't ever fit into them no matter what.
Don't you agree?

2009-01-05T01:18:00.002+08:00

My post is gone D:<

I've a lot of things to tell bb but he is unavailable now so oh well...

I cannot tell you how important you are to me no matter what happens please don't let go 'cause I won't know how to react to it.

2009-01-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA
:D :D :D
It's the new year!

Didn't countdown with Clique (Sorry Char! You can pass me the PADDLES in future.) in the end too nua stayed home with Tiffany Ning.
Ok wo yao qu zou zou around wo de neighbourhood qu zao ta de peng you le.
Byebye.

I shall post my reflections and resolutions later!
Out with bb in 12hours time :D
&I'm finally working no longer a bum yayyayyay!

2008-12-31T12:57:00.002+08:00

Sian.
D: D: D:

We're all looking for someone to take the pain away.
Ha ha.
People can't exactly be dependent?

I was hoping things are different this time round.

WLAO
DAMN SIAN LAAAAAAAAA.
WTFFFFFFF.
D:<

2008-12-27T21:39:00.002+08:00

I kinda screw it up again.
I hate this feeling.
It had been around for quite some time.
Lots of things to think about.
Do you exactly know how much you mean to me?

2008-12-20T23:11:00.002+08:00

I haven't receive a single message from him today at all so that makes me v sad 'cause I miss him byebye.
D: D: D:

2008-12-19T00:31:00.006+08:00

Have been spending past 3days with bb.
He and Sam came to pick me up from the airport (:
HIAK.
I love you woman!

So spend 15th night at T3 airport chilling with both of them.
Went Marina Sq on 16th caught The Day The Earth Stood Still w bb and lunched and went to Grandma's place.
17th bb came my house and we slacked dropped by Estelli's place went Bedok to get groceries head back home and cook! :D :D :D SUPERFUN! So bb felt bored head for a swim (he say he swam 30laps but I don't remember I slept for so long ok!) I went for a tan then too bored again went TM again to get our puzzle chopchop go home so he can watch the match. We failed to go Ikea D:<
So 18th watched Twilight with bb at TM then had Seoul Garden (African kids are gg to hate you.) and sent him halfway home before I head home. And I kept whining that he's going to be away for 5days leaving me behind D:

WLAO EY Twilight was totally off my expectations. As in I expected something better than that. Edward was not what I hoped he was 'cause the Edward Cullen in my imagination was sosososo much more perfect than the one on the screen and movie was kinda draggy and all of a sudden everything escalated and pfff, ended. Like... yah. Reading the book is so much better 'cause at least it allows the whole entire motion to run according to my own imagination instead.

This morning Bb was superduperuber nicegreatsweetawesome! :D
Last night I v sian diao when he replied so late and I was sleepy so fell asleep w/o calling him. Then this morning at 9.33am he called me so I was kinda surprised.
"Ey, Ykno my plane is actually 11 so I'm at the airport alrd."
"HUH?! (heart sink.) So early."
"HAHAHA no la I at your house downstairs now come down open gate for me ley."
"Don't bluff me la. You always like that say in the end also never."

So I went down and I saw Bb with 豆浆油条!
:D :D :D
After an hour and a half he got to leave alrddddddddd.
D: D: D:

Tmrw will be outta with Tiffany :D
Been a zillion years since I went out with her like a decent outing.
Like, last August?!?!?!
When we're only staying blocks away from each other.
Grandpa's birthday tmrw so time with cousins :D
Shall go to CHC service on Sun with parents 'cause I like their candlelight service.
I've to keep myself uber busy to stop missing bb!

Day1.
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you.
Had been missing you a lot alrd and it's only been a few hours since I last saw you so hurry back to me! D: I miss your goodnight phonecalls &I only have Domo for myself tonight. And I'm down w flu and cramps I want your hugs D:
Tues please come by soon.

2008-12-17T00:09:00.003+08:00

I VERY SAD 'CAUSE BB SAID HE CHANGED HIS OPINION OF ME D:
THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.
I WNA GO TO SLEEP.
BB IS COMING OVER AT 8PLUS TMRW :D
LET'S HOPE HE CAN WAKE UP IN TIME.
I WNA GO TO SLEEP.
I REALLY WNA GO TO SLEEP.
I MISS THE HOTEL IN HK.
BYEBYE.
KILLER HEELS SPOLIT MY XMAS SHOPPING PLAN TODAY.
I'VE BLISTERS ON PRACTICALLY EVERY SINGLE TOE LEY.
PAIN~
I HATE HEELS.

(edit)
I'm going to cook for bb tmrw hiakhiakhiak sweet hor :D
Randomness, but...
I LOVE MY BOYF.
(/edit)

2008-12-11T00:09:00.004+08:00

HELLO :D
It's the 11th alrdddddd.
I'm flyingflyingflying in 10hours' time~

Have been spending my past 2days with bb (:
HIAKHIAK.
No zoo for 4th month 'cause we too nua alrd so went AMK to meet online buyer mos for lunch 4christmases for movie!
Movie was nice, cried a lil but laughed like @#@%$#^%$ most of the time.

Went to get those last minute stuffs today and had Sakaeeeeeeeee with bb!
:D :D :D
Happyhappy~
Had long bus ride too.
We both gave each other a surprise todayyyyyyyyyy :B
Chipmunk is the new love yo.

Going to be back on the 15th.
I'm going to miss you boyfriend D:
Takecare of yourself and yadayada alright?
Rawrrrrr, should have stolen more hugs from you :X
I love you boyfriend! (:

(edit)
Oky, I'm going to miss my great bimbo partner, Estelli too! (: 'Cause we see each other everyday! Don't be sad you'll not have sucha great gym partner and company for so many days but nvm you've your awesome boyf that knows how to befriend Photoshop to company you. Random shit. Miss me Bimbo! WE'LL GYM THE MOMENT I'M BACK! :D
(/edit)

2008-12-09T00:20:00.003+08:00

Wtfishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh D:<
Photoshop is still not cooperating with me!
I'm going to give it a cold shoulder for messing around with my Firefox.
Off to ogle at Takuya Kimura~

I LOVE YOU BABY!
I'm going to see you in 10hours' time!
Happy 4th :D
I still love you baby.

2008-12-08T02:07:00.001+08:00

Went for Cousin's wedding at some big, great, grand hotel but food suck but I still ate so FATSYO! Wo hen sad D: I very long nv gym alrd still eat.
Tmrw still eat! But tmrw I'm going to meet Steph yoooooooooo :D
I miss you woman! Been a year since I last saw you when you zoomed off to Aust.
Shopping time~

Today's wedding wasn't that great 'cause I have a effing busted cousin who totally pissed the hell outta every single one in the extended family &I've to cook up a story to explain why I've to repeat another year without "embarrassing" my Mum.
Is there a need for others to scream at you about filial piety in the public when you're alrd in your thirties with a kid?
Is there a need to treat every single one like dirt and shove them away with disrespect?
Is there a need to be hostile to everyone, even your own parents and grandparents?
What happened to the cousin that I knew from the past?

You walked past your grandparents without even acknowledging them shoot them dirty looks making a big fuss when sitting at the same table and refused to be around them. Like wtfffffff?

So yadayada, the adults left feeling rather upset and the kids decided to shoot her dirty looks. (Ya la, I know quite childish.)

Anyw, I had breakfast with Bb this morning!!!! :D
Idk why so happy.
But I'm just very happy. (♥)
4th is coming~

I'M OFF TO HONGKONG SOON!!!! :D

Photoshop is pissing me off!
D:<
It's causing Firefox to hang every 10min.

2008-12-05T23:31:00.002+08:00

Went Dempsey with Peixuan, Estelli, Sam, Huiteng and Sam's friend like Peterrrrrrr (some mad alcoholic guy) So... Harry's Bar first totally busted and Peter is sucha good actor like wthell eh, he looked so convincing so we got Virgin Mary and some Strawberry drink which taste superb. Virgin Mary is like, EEEWK. Then we went B&J's for supper! :D

So we decided to head to Huiteng's house for stayover 'cause it was really kinda unsafe for us to be like loitering in the streets in the middle of the night when Dempsey look so eerie? Was complaining like nuts 'cause got to walk down the hills in heels D: Then. THEN. This guy driving this convertible car was like stopping in front of us and asked if we wanted a ride out with him and his friends. Obviously we said no la, 'cause we still have brains like duh no way later they bring us to somewhere like god knows where. And after that THREE convertibles just drove past like thatttttt D: three ley!!!!! I should have just board one of them and zoom off to Huiteng's house. Sam and I was like whining non-stop especially 'cause we couldn't get a cab and Huiteng was like, "Sluts." WTHELL.

Oky, so gotten some alcohol on the way and we head back to Huiteng's house for drinks. Huiteng wasn't even close to drunk at alll~ Sam was like close to drunk so she quickly got up to drink loads of water to so called flush the alcohol outta her body so she won't get rash (she is allergic to alcohol la like ????) So after that I was kinda high and stuffs laughing like !@$#@^%$&^* and attempting to prove that I'm still sober by painting by nails nicely and walking in a straight line.

Estelli was totally knocked out totally drunk la stupid bimbo talking nonsense. (I mean she doesn't talk much sense normally but yesterday was insanely off.)
She actually did a center-parting and asked us "Am I nice?!" twice before collapsing onto the bed and continue nua-ing before she starts a new spark of retarded stuffs. And this morning she woke up with no recollection of what she did last night Zzz.

And hello~ my head hurts like @!$#@%$# since I got home D:<

Bb came to my house like 3plus after his sleepover and slacked nuaed around till 5plus and we head to TM for PastaMania Dinner and Blot for Movie.

Damn effed up with mum #$#@%$#^%$& D:<
Abrupt ending.

2008-12-04T03:00:00.002+08:00

Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind.
If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups & downs in feelings.
Girls are there to be loved, not toyed around.

Love her for who she is.
Don't even think about changing any bit about her.
6 billion people in this world & 6billion different personalities.
She's special & she will stay that way.
You change any part of her, you'll change her forever.
Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways.

Love wholeheartedly.
She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better really treasure her.
She could have just got up & date a so much more dashing guy in town but she chose you instead all because of love.
So love her guys, not play with her.

Don't just get the girl to beg you to stay or whatsoever.
If you're with her, love her.
Don't cause a strain in the relationship.
You'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all.
Respect love the way it is &everything will be the best it can be.

Don't expect perfection from her.
She's the only one in the world &she's done the best she could.

Like another girl while you're in a relationship?
Then I think it's time you remain single for awhile.
Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide anything from her.
If you want her to tell you everything, do the same.
Don't go calling other girls "honey"or "darling".
How would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way?
Be faithful, enough is enough.

Socialise only when you're single.
You socialise & flirt around to get the girl of your dreams.
Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.

It never kills to be romantic.
Think, be flexible.
Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her.
Be realistic, she's human & she lives life just like you.
Something sweet & simple always get the job done.
Money doesn't exist between couples, it's the love.

Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day.
Love her as if each day is the last.

Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached guys.
Do that & you'll really break your girl's heart.
Isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a sense of insecurity.
remember, INSECURITY.

Promise her &make sure you never break it.
Swear to her & make sure you keep it.
Pledge your love to her & her alone.

Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to.
Instead, she'll cherish it & protect it.
That's love. (:
Give her your heart, your life, your everything.

Lay down your life & prepare to die for her when the need arises.
But stay strong & live through another day, she can never live without you.

Never, ever walk out of her life.
She won't just cry her heart out & carry on living as per normal, she'd die.
Its her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?

Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory.
Don't leave her once you've won her love.
Love her all the way till the end of time,
love her till marriage,
love her till old age,
love her till death.
If you can love her till the end of time,
you've earned the honor &respect for you've truly loved her.

She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promise.
Win her heart & love her over.
Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display,
she's someone to love,
not to show off to your "friends".
Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you.
Respect her for the way she is,
never despise her &mistreat her,
never even think of toying with her.

It is muchmuchmuch more complex than how I had expected. Considering more factors into it and stuffs, I guess it's more of a wake up call.

2008-12-04T02:34:00.002+08:00

I'm still feeling very bored D:

So Dad refused to let me drop by Estelli's house for movie marathon and both of us were Zzz damn sian diao 'cause we were both ultra energetic after sleeping for so long.

We wanted to do something damn cool. Sneaked out and walked towards each other head for supper then walk home. Sounds cool right, moreover she stays near me. But. BUT. Estelli never sneaked before and the way she opens the door would most prolly wake everyone up. No supper D: Then I suddenly thought of LWS 'cause he used to cycle from his house like, Bedok to my place in the middle of the night with Macs for supper and I always have to sneak out to my house swimming pool and have supper at the poolside. Cool horrrrrrrrr. Now people got girlf alrd so don't want friend alrd D:<

Wdv. I still had supper. (FATSYO)

I'm so bored.
Boreeed.
Talking to an unknown guy who claims to be my primary school friend (?)
Alrightttttttt, source of entertainment to fill in the void.
Still bored.
I wonder why wasn't I expecting anything from you today. It feels... without you today.
Tmrw is going to be a fun/cool/tiring day.
8in the morning. (Gawd)

2008-12-03T18:48:00.003+08:00

Pretty sunset (:
The sky was so pretty.
(Heh) I miss watching the sun rise with you.
Let's watch sun rise soon bb!

&I wna go RSVP at Park for seafood buffettttttttttt!
But JiaJ says the service there sucks.

2008-12-03T16:17:00.001+08:00

Had 14hours of sleep again hiakhiak wlao, damn nice can like being years since I get to sleep till afternoon but yah no mood to gym now -.-
Was bloghopping like what's new andand this girl was like having her boyf away from her for 21 days (21days ley!!!!) cannot contact and blah and she is like still surviving damn it I think I'll die. Then Dad says he wna extend my HK trippppppp which means I will be back at around 18th night and 19th boyf will be pfffffff, off to Viet back at 23rd so no seeing &contacting him from 11th to 23rd like wthell noooooooooo. So I'm off to fabricate a story to persuade Dad not to do so.
I very sian now leyyyyyyyyy!
Boyf will be off for prom and postprom tonight so yadayada I'm off to Est's house for movie marathon. WLAOOOOOOOOO I WNA GO DEMPSEY TONIGHT STUPID POKE CANNOT GO SO MUST TMRW GO LIKE WTHELL. (Wed got free drinks ley!)
I'm off to glue my eyes to the teevee till Dad is back with my dinner and off to Bimbo's house!

Baby, have fun tonight! ^^
I'll miss you (:

2008-12-02T00:19:00.001+08:00

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everything is nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to see you smile
'Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

Through it all
I've made my mistakes
I'll stumble and fall
But I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment, you know
As I bleed my heart out to show that I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in vow
And pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so I won't let this go
'Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

All the streets, where I walked alone
With nowhere to go
I've come to an end

Ha ha. If only I were that strong-willed.

2008-12-01T23:59:00.006+08:00

Processing of thoughts.
Kinda tedious 'cause I'm forcing myself to think in a more mature way?
The L word scares me now.
Let's hope I see things in a different light when I'm back from HK (:
I've no idea why did my heart sink when I heard of that.
Well well.

"Where was He when I needed him ?"
"God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children."

(:

2008-12-01T01:02:00.003+08:00

To add on...
I'm effing pissed with online shopping.
I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHERE IS YOUR INTEGRITY AND SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY.
WTFISHHHHHHHHHH.
The online seller took sucha long time to reply me and now. Now. You're telling me that I can actually get a refund after 3months?!? When I asked for a refund 1month ago, you told me it's impossible and I can only get half the amount back so I waited for like #$#@$%$#% months and now you're telling me I can get a refund. Wait... So I still have to wait to get my refund. For goodness sake, give me an exact date when will I get my items and refunds.

And now the online buyer is acting like a dead buyer playing around with me messing around with my schedule I set a time&place for meetup though it was only a 6bux purchase and now you're M.I.A-ing and not replying my emails/msges. Which part of no dead buyers do you not understand?

2008-12-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

:D :D :D
I LOVE BABY!
♥
Sorry for being so snappy and showing my unhappiness towards you for these past few days, but yeah. I'm glad that we're both putting in an effort and you're giving in a lot a lot more just to make me a happier girrrrrrrrrrl.

Okyyyyyyy, happy moment is over for the time being 'cause I'm being snapped back into reality. Being having so much fun recently chilling around travelling all around S'pore meeting up with boyf very often that... I forgotten that I'm retaining &there's 2more years of JC ): I've more or less forgotten every single thing that was taught in school including O's stuffs and what's more year1 stuffs and it makes me a lil pissed 'cause I've to start from scratch I need to find the motivation and drive that I had during O's period.

Put this aside, I promise I'll really start studying when I'm back from HK (:
Meantime, I think I'm going to miss you badly rawrrrrrrrrr.
Kissseshugscuddlesholdinghandsbickeringlol@eachother
flowersphonecallstextpattingmetosleeplyingonyourshoulder
tosleepsayingIloveyou.
&with manymanymany more.

Hello baby this is probably the best day I ever had thanks for being sucha great boyf for me I know I'm not that perfect but let's both make this relationship the best it can ever get shall we?
Oky, I'm back to my happy moodddddddddddd (:
Baby has been ultra nice to fill in my free days with meet ups and dates. (♥)

2008-11-29T01:16:00.005+08:00

I'm getting very pissed that Mum actually opened my bank letter and check on my bank statement every single month like wthell it's my bank a/c helloooooooooooooo respect each other's privacy? I think that is pretty enough I don't need you to be nagging at me and screaming at me for spending so much money and blah 'cause if I'm not mistaken, you aren't the one who is giving me my pocket money or paying for my expenses. What's next? Studies. (Roll eyes)

2008-11-28T23:45:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I feel like there's no getting through to you
Like you don't appreciate all that I do.
You gotta show me that you want me to stay
Don't turn & walk away

Baby I'm slowly falling out of love with you
I don't know what to do,
How did we end up here this way?
What are we gonna do?
I'm slowly falling out
We're tripping on silly things
Boy I need you to meet me halfway,
If you want me to be with you..

I remember when, I'd be with my friends
You checked on me and made time to call
But how things have changed?
Now I don't hear from you at all.

I'm not trying to throw tantrums here and I hope you understand. I know it's alright for us to think differently. But too differently is a problem, isn't it? We're thinking things in total opposite manner. I need attention. You need an independent girl. I try hard to be one, I get upset. You try to give me more attention, it's too tiring.
I'm hungryyyyyyyy!
I'm tired.
I'm getting eff-ed up with practically everything.
I can't wait to get to HK.
Brian had been going back to church alrd. &it makes me guilty of my own church attendance and behaviour. The faith he had, the commitment and everything.
Reflection time.

2008-11-28T01:20:00.005+08:00

The very first day of my life
Was the day that you let me go
And it was a blessing in disguise
Now I see that I'm beautiful
Cause all we ever did was fight
We were so dysfunctional
Now I forgotten all the times
And all the days that I was lovin you.

Just like a ghost from my past
Saying that you want me back

Love me, leave me
Cause I've already closed that door
Don't want to be
In the pain I felt before
If I only could be myself
Without your approval anymore
If you love me leave me alone

Now there used to be a time
That I woulda taken you back again
But now that I have you out my mind
Now I'm totally independent
So you can save your little lies
Cause I know what's happenin'
Your missin' me but say goodbye now
To all the days I was lovin' you

If you really wanna help
Than you should go
Cause I promised myself
I'd let it alone
At the back of the shelf
Cause where I put what we had
I'll never going back, no

estelli says:
cannot just judge by thinking de laaaaa ^^

So, I'm trying to put this issue behind me.
But it's still pretty bothering.
It's hard to let you think along my line and vice versa.
(I'm adapting.)
Wdv.
I have a sudden urge to bawl.
D: D: D:
Tmrw will be a better day 'cause it's day out with Charmaine and Wong LiangJin.
My lunch will be on him.
:D :D :D

2008-11-27T23:11:00.005+08:00

Is it just me or what?
I'm not keeping a distance from you, neither am I not being truthful to you.
But it's kinda obvious we do hold different perspective towards many subjects.
More of character differences?
Isn't it tiring to have us both trying to fit in to each other's thinking and opinions?

2008-11-27T01:35:00.003+08:00

HELLOWELLOJELLO!
I'M FEELING VERY HIGH NOW :D :D :D
'CAUSE BOYF HAD MADE ME A VVVVVVV HAPPY GIRL LATELY!

Last Thursday was Cousin's wedding and yadayadayadayada food was greaaaaaaaaaaat~ (FATS YO) And went to boyf's class chalet after that. Sorry boy for having you to come all the way out to fetch me in and waited 2hr at the bus stop for me :X

So we both went home on Fri morning &I totally overslept so in the end I missed my job interview togther with Estelli so now they don't wanna hire us D: (small gas!)

Went boyf's house after that for movie marathon which totally failed 'cause we started watching some teevee programme till 11plus then we watched Kite Runner (Very touching!) and then decided to take a break. But who knows we both slept till the next morning. Then woke up watched Saw then supposed to bathe dota go out but boyf refuses to wake up after that (ok, 'cause he sick so he big so he can sleep) so I went home after that w/o asking him to send me home. &I met a dirty old man again!!!!!!!!!!! D:<

Gym-ed and gotten my bottle with Estelli on Tues :D
Collected my chio phone (actually now I look I no longer think it's chio and wlao eh i take damn long to type a messge ok) then had dinner w Boyf! ^^ Seafood platter for 2 &I ate more than himmmmmmmmmm D:< (Fats yo) But it was his treattttttttt :D So after that we took the long way home and yadayada.

Met up with him today again and we watched another movie Life Support on HBO at his place first then he slept I did 4 binomial questions and we argueargueargue then he decided to wake up and get ready to go Vivo with me. Bk for dinner and Madagascar2 for movie :D Very niceeeeeeeeee. I mean ya, there's a lot of meaning in everything so yeah. Funny &touching. And he sent me home! ^^

Gym-ing + Sauna tmrw!
:D :D :D

HEH, thanks boyf from waking up from your sleep to call me 'cause it was raining like @$#%$^##$ with lightning and thunder!
I love my boyfriend!

2008-11-25T00:43:00.004+08:00

OK I'M EFF-ING BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Photobucket is so slow.
Baby is unavailable 'cause of his primary school chalet so he isn't replying me D:
D: Reply ley reply.
Sian. Bored. Boreed. Boreeed.
ZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzz
I paid the deposit for my new phone :D
Going to bring prettaye back tmrw with Baby.
Still not excited.
I'm going to run around the house now.
Zaijian.
Reply la!

(edit)
Derrick is ultra charming + attractive laaaaaaaaaa!
(/edit)

&I'm pissed. I'm trying hard to control.

2008-11-24T02:12:00.005+08:00

I THINK DOMO IS ULTRA CUTEEEEEEEEEE!
&I WNA GET THIS BAG D:<

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna crdboard got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am
Some try to hand me money they don't understand
I'm not...broke. I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

I'm still missing you D:
Why do you have to go off so soon...
D: D: D:
I'm getting rather spoilt by you.
Please take care during your primary school class chalet!
PRIMARY LEY.

♥Angelina. says:
HAHAHA, OK LA. YOU EXPERIENCED MA YOU THE NICEST LE LA
estelli says:
hwahwahwa!! i nicer than chang ley!

Ok la, Bimbo has been ultra nice 'cause she had been doing the advertising + confirming orders from online seller and yadayada.
Did I mention scissors, paper, stone is sucha good invention.
&Bimbo lost to me!

2008-11-23T23:15:00.005+08:00

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌假装没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了离开时的不快乐
你用卡片手写着有些爱只给到这
真的痛了怎么了你累了
说好的幸福呢我懂了不说了
爱淡了梦远了开心与不开心一一细数着
你再不舍那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得你不等了
说好的幸福呢我错了泪干了
放手了后悔了只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢

Bad day.
I hoped.
The phone call didn't have to end.
I've no idea why did my dependency on you have to be so strong.
I need you to be here with me now.

2008-11-20T02:11:00.003+08:00

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

"The problem with you is that you think too much, probe too much, You never seem to understand that ignorance is a bliss. Stop thinking about the past. You can't do anything about them any longer. Just live with it."

Cousin was suddenly full of y'kno, and began talking about this to me when I was supposed to be the one consoling her.

I wna go to Dempsey for pubbing &chillinggggggggggg ! D:<

Idk why I had been thinking a lot about you these days perhaps 'cause it's the 18th again but at least I know this time round I'm missing you as a friend with no feelings attached, just concerned about you. Had been thinking a lot about the past, more of the happy memories than the ugly break up we had. Well, afterall I had learnt a lot from you &this r/s.

I wna go to Sentosa and sit cable car and have movie marathons and blah and blah and blah with Baby before he gets enlisted and before school is killing me!

Ahhhhhhh~
Did I mention I have holidays till 2Feb?
HIAKHIAKHIAK!
More time with nanpengyou :D
Tmrw night I'm dropping by his class chalet &movie marathon on Fri!
:D :D :D
He made me a happy girlllllllllllll~
&there is a day out with him on Sat again!
It's going to be quite bad since he can't sleep for 3nights.
I'm sure you'll lose the bet again! HIAK
You're always losing so just accept it and stop fighting.

I wna sleep ey you stupid body just go to sleep can why you don't want to sleep last time got school always wna sleep now no school nothing to do then you don't want to sleep!

Anyway, my visit to the dentist was quite coooooooool~ Dentist was uber nice.
I decided to be a dentist in future instead!
&online shopping is a killer D:< &I've yet to find a job! D:<

2008-11-20T00:29:00.005+08:00

I'M HERE TO TELL PEOPLE THAT ESTELLI IS DAMN NICE 'CAUSE SHE HELPED ME TO CONTACT 2 ONLINE SELLERS WHEN I ONLY HELPED HER COLLECT HER CARDIGAN FROM THE ONLINE SELLER TODAY SO YA PLEASE BE HAPPY BIMBO TO SEE THIS HERE.

Oky that Tyra show is damn effing gross like Idk whattttttttttt ):

&I bought my pretty heels today with Peixuan just now!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

(Edit)
I WAS LMAO WHEN I WAS READING HUITENG'S BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S JUST SO FUNNY TO SEE HER ANGRY.
HIAK
(/Edit)

Wlaoooooooooo, body cooperate and go to sleep leyyyyyyyyy.
I'm going Peni tmrwwwwwwwwww! :D

2008-11-18T02:58:00.003+08:00

I NEED AN OUTLET TO COMPLAIN!
Me wna sleep but I can't sleep and my chest has to hurt so badly every single time I breathe at this point of time like wtfffffffffffffffffff pain la~ go to sleep.
Oky, nights (:

2008-11-18T02:02:00.006+08:00

I'm not liking this.
I don't see the point of you wanting me to revisit all the options when I already made up my mind.

I'm disliking the feeling of uncertainty.
The thought of having to face this next year all over again like how I did this year seems to be quite fearful. We all started off together, adapting to the whole new JC curriculum together and it's now, just me doing this alone?

Okkkkkk what don't kill me makes me stronger! :D

But.
Wdv.

I won't have you around so often next year and it's going to be quite a turn off 'cause I've to deal with the whole damn new school term w/o you and worst, ~~half the time~~ 3/4 of the time I can't be with you? It's going to be quite tough geting used to my mundane life without you &it's quite frightening to know how much changes that will bring to the both of us and this r/s.

2008-11-18T00:13:00.003+08:00

HOW DO YOU DRAW A RECTANGLE WITH 3 LINES?

It's supposed to be an Alevel Math question from Ireland, according to Estelli but you've to doubt the reliability of it. xiao4 dian2 too low alrd so I practically lmao when I saw that. Thenthenthen, Estelli said it's her lil bro's math homework and he is only Pri3.
Okyyyyyyy, I feel quite ashamed of my IQ.
): ): ):

OK wait check this out:

1. continue d sequence in logical way: 25 points
M T W T

Sol: M T W T F S S ....DAYS OF WEEK

2. Correct this formula with a single stroke: 25 points
5 + 5 + 5 = 550

SOL: 5 4 5 + 5 =550....CHANGE + SIGN TO 4

3. Please write anything here 25 points

| |
| |
| |
|___________________________|

SOL: HEY THAT WAS THE EASIEST ONE...
anything______________________
4. Draw a rectangle with 3 lines: 25 points
SOL: U knw guys In research terminology there is a term called Principle of Easy penetration which says that one should apply easy applications before applying hard ones, to solve a problem...This test depicts d same view...

So a rectangle with 3 lines...here it goes
Draw a rectangle & then draw 3 lines in it....tht makes a rectangle with 3 lines...I'm sad that I'm not born in Ireland 'cause I'll most prolly ace ALevels and get myself into a local Uni w/o studying much.

I'm going to see the dentist tmrwwwwwwww :X
&I hate the dentist.
&I'm going to go with Estelli.
(How cool?)
&I'm contemplating to have braces.
(Actually I didn't even have the thought of that till boyf keep sayingsayingsaying then I feel my teeth actually quite ugly.)

Okay, it's the 18th alrd! Means. ALevels is over for baby! ^^
HIAKHIAKHIAK :D :D :D

Oky, that's about it.
PMS is making me ultra bad mood + uncomfortable + think too much + superduperextraextra moody + unable to sleep well + super clingy to boyf
): ): ):
WLAO.

Wait, try this.
http://www.addictinggames.com/theimpossiblequiz.html
I'm off to play that damn thing.
No, I give up playing that.

OHHHHHH,
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, NZH!

2008-11-16T22:56:00.004+08:00

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH OUR BLOGSHOP.
PLEASE GO TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
THOUGH THEY ARE ALL SECOND HAND ITEMS BUT THEY ARE IN DAMN GOOD CONDITION + FRICKING DIRT CHEAP.

http://glamour-vicenda.blogspot.com
http://glamour-vicenda.blogspot.com
http://glamour-vicenda.blogspot.com

Okayyy, I'm on my way to find an online supplier or whatever supplier so that we can conduct some preorders. HIAK ^^

Boyf isn't replying me ):

2008-11-16T20:26:00.002+08:00

Zomg I went to do some colour therapy survey thingy and it's so true!

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

): ): ): That isn't a very positive characteristic of someone.

2008-11-16T05:52:00.003+08:00

HELLOWELLOJELLO!
Time check: 5:49 AM
Me v awake now, but no one is awake now! ):
Finally completed the blogshop thing, excluding the measurements and confirmation from PeiXuan &Estelli these two aunties so I hope I'll be able to wake up in the morning to do those measurements and be gone for church and officially launch it by 2pm tmrw. (Cross my fingers.)

Okyyyyyy, those retainees went back to school on friday 'cause it's the last time we can have lessons with 24 alrd. However, Chem lecture was such a bore Zzz so we all decided to pon all the lectures and Chem is like making me Zzz -.- ??? kinda thing when I understand nuts about what metal&acidic oxide and solubility reminds me of Sec sch QA double Zzz. Okay.. So after that we all sat at the canteen and rot and talk and yknow and we went PlazaSing and I shopped like Idk what. Spent like 70bux within 2hours ): WLAOOOOOOOOOO! Oky, so aft that we went BK for lunch and me decided to curb my eating so I rejected BK lunch! :D (Actually no, I succumbed to the temptation of onion rings.) Singapore is too small for students like us who are poor and in sch uniform to hang out so we went to Cherlyn's house to slack instead then we talktalktalk while Teng sleep and in the end, all of us fell asleep. (Cherlyn, your house too nice to sleep alrd la! ) Decided not to go steamboat dinner with LY clique 'cause gastric hurts a lil &was too tired so went home to sleeeeeeeeeeep!

&I finally went for a date with Boyf again! ^^
Heh, met him at Tamp &he was late again! So yadayada caught Quantum of Solace, went Ikea and then Airport T3 for Popeyeeeeeeeeeee :D :D :D
I'm a happy girl today!
Boyf today damndamndamn nice to the power of infinity 'cause he very qian1 jiu4 wo2 &agreed to everything that I requested (:
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, ALevels is going to be over for baby on Tues!
So, hiakhiakhiak~
I'm going to have a lot a lot a lot more time to spend with him alrd and that makes me a happier girl!
Boyf promised me a movie marathon on Fri! (: (: (:

I'm going to start studying next Monday!
Seriously~
&Peixuan, Estelli, Sam &me will be having the same chio phone soon together!
Though it's quite weird like, all 4 have same phone so tweet but yah...
PRETTY PHONE I'M GOING TO BRING YOU HOME NEXT SAT!

Eh I very sad ley I now damn pimply lor last time puberty also no pimples why now so many howhowhow! &I've a hole in my tooth ):

2008-11-14T01:52:00.003+08:00

Hello people.
I'm feeling absolutely sleepy.
I didn't do anything for the blogshop today ):
But, I met boyf todayyyyyyyyy :D
Heh.
Thanks baby for making me the happiest girl on earth! Okyyyyyy, the happiness is something out of the world ^^
Hiak! I'm just copying what he said.
Hmmm..
&I love you, boyf!

I TELL YOU I MET A DAMN FRICKING SICKO PERVERT DIRTY OLD MAN ON THE BUS TODAY WHO TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME THIS SMALL LITTLE GIRL BY NEARING ME SO NEAR WHEN THERE IS LIKE A DAMN BIG SPACE BESIDE HIM &FRICKING HELL KEEP TOUCHING ME WITH HIS BODY OR WHATEVER I DON'T CARE IF IT MAKES SENSE NOT BUT YOU GET MY DRIFT AND HE WAS LIKE I SWEAR TURN ON OR SMTH COS HE STARTED BREATHING DAMN HEAVILY AND FAST AND MUTTERING SOMETHING SOFTLY WHILE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME. I SWEAR I TOTALLY HAVE THE URGE TO HURT HIS BALLS SO THAT IT HURTS HIM SO BADLY AND STOP GETTING HIS F BALLS NEAR ME.

I'm traumatised.
I'm not going to take the bus during peak hours on my own!
I hope.
THAT SICKO OLD MAN SHOULD STOP BEING SO FRICKING HORNY &STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF SMALL LITTLE GIRLS.
What the hell are they thinking, like seriously.
Why don't they act like their age, be more wise and nice and gentle and stop acting like sex driven old men who try to ahem whatever with girls in their polluted mind?
RAWR!

2008-11-12T23:19:00.008+08:00

Okyyyy, I should start blogging.
Last friday, 07Nov was a... Bad day.
To start off. Let me show you something.

Yah, So get my point?
It was kind of like an inevitable fact 'cause I really wasn't prepared at all. So the results were kinda expected. Still, I cried. Guess it was more of like, I wasn't exactly that ready to face it. Though I admit I kinda deserved to retain since I didn't study hard. (But I did study!) Boo shouldn't have said that we deserved to retain. I mean, I know you dislike our clique and whatever nonsense, but shouldn't you keep your biased treatment at this point of time? At least I'm glad that I've ditched sucha CT.
I'm still sad that I've to leave 0824! Okyyyyyyy, more of leaving my clique?
It sucks to learn that I'm the only one being left behind ):

&I practically wasted my day around during the weekends &finally went to church on Sunday.

Went Astons with Estelli, Kelly &Rachel on Monday then we went gaigai. Well, Angel is damn broke so I ended up just walking around with them and bought nothing! BLOGSHOPBLOGSHOP!

I suck in pictures Zzz.
I love the B&J's at Picturehouse!
We failed to go Dempsey afterall ):

Okyyyyy, Livejournal noob is going back to befriend livejournal.
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I hate this ):

2008-11-12T20:35:00.006+08:00

I'm pissed.
I'm hurt.
I'm disappointed.

Why does it always have to be you who is always inflicting those pain on me. I chose to behave indifferent, nonchalant to your nonsensical nagging and insults. Still, my nonchalance does not mean that I'm not hurt in the inside. How often do I have to struggle to fight back those tears? You know it better than I do. Stop pushing all those blames to my friends and my other commitments. Because, it's all you. You. If it wasn't for you, would I have so much regrets and face with so much hurt now. You know your words hurt me more than anything, but you chose to put it across to me as harshly as possible. I gave up my dreams, my choices for you. All for you. But did you appreciate it? I hate it when I have to face you every single day with you throwing insults right to my face. I had to distant myself from you. You. Made me dread going home. Still, you never seem to understand why. All you could do was to accuse me of disappointing you, failing you of all the dreams and aspirations, of hurting you every single day.
Why can't we just live in peace and stop hurting each other?
I hate it when my studies are everything that we can ever talked about and every single time we talked about my studies all I ever hear from you are praises of others and discouraging words for mine. I tried to do well, tried to make you proud, tried to accept your choice of education for me. What do I get in return? Tell me what do I get in return.
When you chose to give me that beating, those insults, did you even spare a thought for me? Did it ever occur to you that those tears weren't 'cause of anger but hurt and disappointment.
Fuck it 'cause you deemed that I'm incompetent, I'm a disappointment &failure.
How often do I have to put it across to you that I'm trying my best and I don't need you to plan for every fucking single detail of my life.
You said you love me,
but your love is crushing me.
Why don't we both wake up to our ideas that we're not fitted to fulfill each others' wishes.

2008-11-08T00:05:00.003+08:00

I wna blog.
But I don't wna blog.
So, I'll blog tmrw.
Mum is driving me a lil insane.
Results are out today.
Hmm, kinda expected.
But Idk why I couldn't face it up strongly.
OP Q&A sucks like crapxzxzxzxz

2008-11-05T00:32:00.003+08:00

LG KS360!!!!!!!!!
Damn chio right!
Sidekick leyyyyyyyyyyy :D
Very cheap somemore leyyyyyyyyyy.
288bux w/o contract.
Sam says she is comtemplating to buy,
so I can bargain with that very nice uncle again.
Huiteng can't even make up her mind!
Still, I need a job to begin with ):
But I don't wna work 'cause I wna spend time with boyf first.
HOW!
Randomness: I love my boyfriend!

Sleepover with Huiteng and Estelli tmrw night I think.
Swimming and OP rehearsal on thurs.
D: D: D:
I can't wait for OP to be over!
Friday is going to be OP and dang. Results day.
Mentally prepared, but then again. Not that prepared.

2008-11-05T00:03:00.006+08:00

Haha, was randomly looking through photos and tadaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I'm really bored.
Ask me out please!

2008-11-04T20:51:00.010+08:00

When I am miles away
Will you still check on me?
Tell me things will be alright.
Just tell me we will be
Together someday.
It's in the dreams I have.
I'll be your sunset
If you'll be my silhouette.
You'll be my silhouette.

Just take my hand and well,
Never let go because
If we're together now
We'll be together then.
Step back and see me walk away
And watch me run right back.
I'll show you how to love again.
This is the best idea I've had.

I'm having loads of thoughts running through now. Perhaps 'cause I've ample time to think through stuffs, I'm getting a lil... Oversensitive and stuffs? I feel my heart sink, I feel my heart ache. Still, Idk why. The feel and happiness fluctuates a lot? It makes me... Weary? I'm full of doubts yet, it seemed unnecessary in your eyes. I've enough of hurt from the past few times. I'm afraid this time round. Maybe it explains why I'm so readily prepared to hurt you than to allow myself undergo the pain. I want to make things turn back to where they were. Still, they are always failed attempts. It made me dejected, exhausted. It seems like, your emotions, thoughts, opinions matter to me more than mine... I'm anticipating the future. I'm afraid of moving forward.

): ): ):

TODAY WAS A HAPPY DAY! :D
Oky, it was quite a happy day.
Lol, we were supposed to gym but yeah.
We slacked and stone around most of the time.
We tried to practise OP.
Well, I memorised my script! (more or less?)
We made many plans to go out soon ^^
Let's keep to our plans!

&I TELL YOU PEIXUAN IS A TYPICAL HOUSEWIFE IN DISGUISE.
Good job, Peixuan. You don't have to worry for your future.

2008-11-03T21:21:00.005+08:00

I am just like the sun and you the flower.
I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom.
Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you.
But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you.
Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight.

I did something stupid to make boyf upset again :X
Zzz.
&I'm upset 'cause I made boyf upset 'cause I want him to be happyyyyyyyyy.
Sorry baby, please cheer up and forgive me????
I know I wasn't sensitive enough but still....
I wasn't strong enough for you.
): ): ):
Please get over it soon........
You know I still love you.

2008-11-01T23:40:00.005+08:00

I'M PMS-ING LIKE #%$#^%$^$% NOW AND MY CONNECTION IS SLOW LIKE ANYTH
LAPPY IS DYING ON ME I WNA KILL.
ahhhhhhhh, crap.
No vulgarities.
$#%$^%#@$%$#%$#%$#%$^%
Did I mention I hate staring at my phone waiting for nothing.

2008-11-01T23:02:00.006+08:00

Miss Jenna Lim Yingyi had gotten me all so touched and teary with sucha random e-mail.
(LOL, EMAIL LEY. SO RETRO WAY OF COMMUNICATION)
HAHAHAHAHA.
Did I mention that she is one the greatest friend I have. Okay, not friend. She's supposed to be my stead for likeeeeee... 47months? Lol, it's quite awesome that we knew each other for so long! &yeah, thank God that you were here for me since I was still a lil kiddo till now :D I suck in words so yadayada. I missed those times when we had long bus rides, long studying hours before church, long walk outta school to bus stop, those small talks about everything under the sun and arguements about who is the smarter one and so on. And I guessed it's more of my fault that I had been too busy with Idk what that I started to neglect this friendship and church and blah. Still, you were there for me, pressing me to get out with you and never left me
(though you whined quite a bit whenever I told you that I'm unavailable.)
Lastly...
I LOVE YOU WOMAN! :D ♥♥♥

(This psychopath is in love with a kiddo that is a decade younger than her!)

2008-10-30T22:28:00.007+08:00

I wanna love, I wanna live
I want you to love me
I want you to leave me
I wanna stand where I can see
I'm watching you love me
I'm watching you leaving me now

I wish I could be somebody else
I wish I could see you in myself
Wish there was something inside me
To keep you beside me and
Say what you really feel
You know I need something that's real
I wish there was something inside me
To keep you beside me

I wanna know if I could be
Someone to turn to
That could never hurt you
But I know what you think of me
Yeah, you had a breakthrough
And now I’m just bad news for you

I should've told you everything
I never gave you anything
I should've told you everything
If I could give you anything
You know I'd tell you everything

Loads of stuffs have been running through my mind. Maybe that something triggered it off and brought me to realisation that... I'm nothing more that some superficial bitch. I find it very hard to open up with my group of friends. I'm not saying that they aren't good, 'cause they are really my greatest clique. It's just somehow, the reasoning, the realisation just dawned upon me. It's just somehow, the friendship, that I held quite dearly turned out to be unlike what I had in mind. I guessed we had somehow, somewhat drift apart more or less. It seems unlike the past, unlike the group of friends that I could always relied on. We had all moved on with our lives, make new friends. How did the closest friends ever become a hi-bye stranger? Perhaps, I could no longer find a point in keeping up with a friendship that was so ever superficial such that I chose to avoid
it, keep away from it. Perhaps, I'm one superficial being. If I knew how to convey it out,
I would have gladly told you everything. I miss the fun, laughter and comfort that I had with you.

(Suddenly, I thought of Jenna Lim! :D Rawrrrrrr, she had been a nice friend
all these while despite of my always sudden disappearance. )

Why do we have to fill every space of silence with words when it weren't
even truthful words?

Have been quite outta my mind these days.
Hope it will go away soon.
I don't wna keep up with this attention-seeking gf role.
Sorry baby :X

Mum is as usual, acting so madly, pissing the hell outta me. She is implementing curfews on me now?!?!?!?! Since when did curfews come into the picture. Crapyo. Not in the mood to talk to her, so it's cold war in the process.

In fact, I find myself not wanting to talk to anyone.
Even him. I wna tell you everything that I'm feeling but somehow, it just doesn't feel appropriate. It makes me feel... Childish?

Still, baby. I feel very much alive whenever you're with me somehow. It feels comfortable to have you around, to know that I'll always have you to catch me when I fall. It seems like I am able to be myself that easily in front of you. I have no idea how to tell you how nice you are but yeah...
♥♥♥ I LOVE YOU!

I'm sick of playing pretend.

2008-10-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

I'M FRICKING CRANKY NOW.
I WNA KILL PEOPLE.
Mum got to stop nagging before I start screaming and bawling.

Found my way to the highway I don't wanna tell you the state I'm in
I've had too much to smoke too much to drink where have I been
It feels like the stars are getting closer and the sky is closing in
And I don't know where to begin

We're all looking for something
To take away the pain

Me and you and my medication
Making the best of it
Love is just a chemical creation
Will it be permanent?
Synthetic sensation
Me, you and my medication

The way back to the right track maybe you can help me find the door
Is it too much to ask, too much too fast, too much to ignore
It feels like your body is getting closer but you seem so far away
Medicine make it ok

We're all looking for someone
To take away the pain

2008-10-28T21:29:00.005+08:00

HELLO. I'm very bored!
Why no one is updating their blogggggggggg?
I've nothing to read!

Submission of I&R and OP slides tmrwwwwwwwww.
Zzz.
Hope everything will be fine for Mr Loo.
PW was really slack todayyyyyy.

He was very sweet today.
I felt quite bad complaining that everyone can hang out with their boyf but I cannot :X
Still, he asked me out to watch HSM3 tmrw though he hated it and I was dying to watch it.
But, the understanding me decided to watch it w someone else and also, compromise. So I shall go out with him 2weeks later :D

Nvrmmmmmmm, I get to hang out with Rach, Jamie and Kel tmrw! ^^ Hiakhiak! Like finally can.

&my Tony disappeared! ):

I'm wondering what do I exactly anticipate from you? I hate it the way you were so confident and acted as if I'll always be going back to you. I hate the way how I wavered when we talked about the past. I hate to remind myself of the pain I suffered during the breakup. I hated myself when I started to think if part of you is still within me.

2008-10-26T23:46:00.000+08:00

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly, everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

I almost teared when I read this paragraph!!!!!!
I wna be Edward Cullen's girl toooooooooooo :X
(Okay, everyone wants to be his girl now -.-)
December 18th :D :D :D

(Edit)
I'm everything that you won't like. Yet, somehow, somewhat, you still like me.
I hope.
(/Edit)

AHHHHHH, boyf better get well soon! D:<

2008-10-26T00:29:00.003+08:00

I'm everything that you won't like ):

Me: I think I like, buy the wrong stuffs alrd ley.
Jamie: HAHAHAHA I know you're a lit student.

Okyyyyyyyy, inside joke.

2008-10-25T22:42:00.004+08:00

I'm still waiting for boyf's phone caaaaaaal D:
'Cause his phone died on him again!
Rawrrrrrrrrr, quick get back to me

The online seller is effing crapzxzx I tell you.
Is it that difficult to reply my email to answer me when are those bags coming to me 'cause we fricking waited for 2mths!!!!!!!!! (2MTHS LEY!!!!!!!!!)
We ordered before promos and now we're like close to retaining and I STILL HAVEN'T GET THEM.
Wlaoooooooooo, I'm going to spam her inbox now.
Screw you.
Get back to me. NOW.

Mum is pissing the hell outta me.
She doesn't even keep to her words.
I don't find it so much of a disgrace, mind you. If you would have minded that much, too bad then. I'm powerless and have no intention to change the fact for you 'cause that is my decision right from the very start.

Boyf says I've to quarrel less with my mum so that it will be easier to convince her about this r/s in future so I'm staging a cold war with her nowwwwwwwwwwwwww. D:<
&I got to humor boyf moreeeeeeeeeee 'cause I'm supposed to learn how to be a nice girlf :D

I HATE BOO! D:<>

Twilight series is awesome. Hiakhiakkkkkkkkkk. Back to my addiction.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2008-10-24T00:11:00.003+08:00

Mum cheered me up a little :D
Spent damn load of money todayyyyyyyyy ):
Twilight is damn fricking nice! I'm wondering does such sacrificial love even exist. I can't wait for the movie laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :X
I'm going to bring the whole series back home tmrw :D :D :D

0824 is going to the museum tmrw! (:
That's cool. (I mean, seriously.)

I felt quite sad 'cause I came across to this junior's blog when I was bloghopping and the whole class was like, damn elated to be outta ChungChung and stuffs.
Like...
Yahhhhhhh.
I'm too lazy to describe it.
Just upset.
I thought grad would be something upsetting.

OPOPOP! There's dryrun tmrw and hell, I haven't even get my script out/ rehearse.
Damn.

2008-10-22T23:34:00.004+08:00

Today is a happy and also, an unhappy day.
Finally I found someone who thinks exactly like meeeeeeeeeeee.
YAY, I think Huiteng is getting nicer.
'Cause she understands how I feel.
And, I think our OP slides damn chio now lorrrrrrrrrr.

Let's hope things go fine 'cause I still wanna have more memories with you :X

I think pandas are cute.
Like ultra.

It's early bedtime todayyyyyy!
Nighttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

2008-10-21T01:55:00.001+08:00

Communication breakdown?
I'm feeling lost all over again.

2008-10-19T23:55:00.004+08:00

I'll be the one to tell everyone I'm gone
I've fallen in
To a place I can begin to understand.
I'm just happy you're here to hold my hand

All I want to do is stand close to you
Be by your side
All I want to do is make the world revolve
Around you and I
What I would give up
What I would go through
To get it right
All I want to do in this lifetime is make you mine

Hiakhiak. I just have a sudden urge to say this
I FREAKING LOVE MY BOYF CAN!

I just felt quite bad 'cause I said something damn insensitive to him and yadayada.
But, I always have my way to make it better lur, horrrrrrrrrr? :D :D :D

I can't wait for wed to come to hang out with you! :) :) :)
I know you're anticipating that too. Hiakhiak.
I can't wait for 18Nov to come! ):

Day out at TP with Char and Kwan tmrwwwwwwwwwww. (YAY!)
It had been years since I last seen that kuku woman.
And, she agrees to give me topshop vouchers = I can shoppppppppppp! (DOUBLE YAY!)
Dad &Mum agrees to bring me to high tea on Fri!

I'M A VERY HAPPY PERSON NOW &I feel like calling my boyf nowwwwwwww.
Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(edit)
Me: HELLO! I miss you, boyf!
Him: Why you so random.
Me: (Sad can, nv appreciate.)
Aft 20min, go back studying ):
Hiakhiak, but I'm still happyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I'm going to be uber nice to him tmrw ^^
(/edit)

2008-10-17T01:19:00.002+08:00

I'm pissed with Pw so I'm officially done with you. Go to hell.
And boyf doesn't wna reply me. Why? 'Cause he rather interact with his notes! D:
我竟然输给那些纸.

我突然很想用华语所以呢。。。
我觉得我当你的女朋友当的好失败。我所给的，都不足以让你开心。每一次都会让你生气，担心。我也觉得很愧疚。每次道歉都觉得很没用，因为伤害都已经造成了。每一次向你道歉，都觉得很虚伪，以为这也帮不上忙。

I tell you typing in Chinese is sucha hassle that I decide against it. Damn. But yeah, main idea was. I'd been a rather bad girlf all these while despite the fact that I tried to give in to you, be more understanding and yadayada. This relationship is one that I had been looking forward to and I don't wna give it up easily but it's like. Y'know. I'm going to try harder!

Sidenote: Boyf will only be enlisted on March = I can spend more time with boyf = I'm very happy = I'm also very worried 'cause it's diving unit.

I miss boyf's hugs. But. He don't wna hug me. Why? He rather hug his notes. See, his notes more important than me leyyyyyyyyyy ): ): ): Why like that!

2008-10-16T18:46:00.003+08:00

I feel like crying D:
I'm feeling a surge of emotions within me and it's making me feel like killing someone! D:<
Pw is pissing the hell outta me and why do they abolish this crap thing for the next batch. I wna watch them suffer too.
And that online seller is so fucking irresponsible and slow like wtf, I waited for 1and a half months you tell me now wait somemore. You might as well refund me. Crapzxzxzxzx.
You have exams big uh, I also have exams ok. And I screwed my exams up like fuck.

Nevermind. No more alternatives. I'm set to hit the rewind button and undergo another of this 2years of education. This year had passed by too fast for me to even realize what I had been through. Wasted like damn a lot of time slacking and never ever waking up to the fact that I suck in my studies and continue wasting time. This year had been a mistake, maybe except for my clique and boyf...

What if I'm too tired to even continue?

2008-10-12T22:02:00.003+08:00

okkkkkkkk, picture of the zoo trip! I mean human pictures. Haha, shall post the documentary-like ones later. Got to do boyf's present first! :D

Felt like a damn fucking big loser today.
Still feeling like one.
Get it over.
Got conned by some arse on our way back to Estelli's place.
Nevermind, I rather he con me than to do funny stuffs.

I'm off for a diet plan cos boyf refuses to believe that I'll do so! D:

2008-10-10T23:13:00.002+08:00

When a Girl is quiet, millions of things are running in her mind.
When a Girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a Girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a Girl answers 'I'm fine' after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a Girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a Girl lies on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a Girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a Girl says 'I love you', she means it.
When a Girl says 'I miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once. Make sure u spend it with the right person....
Find a Guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Who turns to his friends and says, 'That's her!'

I think I'm becoming more tweet.
Well, it makes sense what.
Feeling damn lowlowlow that I don't feel like uploading all the photos at all.
Another day. Soon.
I'm feeling seriously sick.
Boyf's hugs D:
Bye world.

2008-10-10T00:08:00.003+08:00

Hello to the third month, baby.
I'm kinda missing you quite a lot now ):

2008-10-07T23:25:00.006+08:00

Am I not pretty enough?
Is my heart too broken?
Do I cry too much?
Am I too outspoken?
Don’t I make you laugh?
Should I try it harder?
Why do you see right through me?

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me,
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break,
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough,
I try as hard as I can.

Yknow...
When people gets older, they tend to talk less though they have a wider vocab and tend to express themselves in other ways.
At least that was what I felt.
Yet, recently. I find it quite difficult for me to tell others how I really feel. Communication barrier, I supposed. Whenever I am saying something, it isn't exactly what I wna express.

Promos had been a rather big bitch.
I'm feeling quite lost all of a sudden.
I do not know what I want anymore.
I'm afraid of making decisions.
I don't feel like myself anymore.
Idk if I'm falling too deep 'cause it really spells happiness yet, I'm afraid to waking up, realising that I'm holding on to nothing.

I'm sorry that I'd disappointed you. Exchange of angry words would be better off rather than having you staring at me with those disappointed eyes. Not even a simple explanation manage to escape from my mouth. Did I mention... I really hate seeing myself failing your expectations.

2008-09-29T23:38:00.004+08:00

YAYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Zoo today! :D :D :D
Pictures another day.
Damn tired
Jamie said she is damn proud of herself for being able to take pictures of those animals as though it's uh, documentary-like. So ya, I'll post it up soon.
Met boyf for dinner :D :D :D

I'm seriously damn pissed with all the traffic jams happening around my house area. Zzz

2008-09-28T21:41:00.003+08:00

50 most romantic things to do w your bf or gf
1. Watch the sunset together.
2. Whisper to each other.
3. Cook for each other.
4. Walk in the rain.
5. Hold hands
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
10. Write poetry for each other.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Look into each other's eyes.
17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
18. When in public, only flirt with each other.
19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
20. Buy her a ring.
21. Sing to each other.
22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put itover your heart.
26. Dance together.
27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they haveto look in a mirror to read it.
29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.
36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
37. Hang out with his/her friends.
38. Go to church/pray/worship together.
39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, 'Sweet dreams.'

*Hints to boyf :D

2008-09-27T21:53:00.006+08:00

Hello.
Had been reading some stuffs online and it just occured to me...
How uncertain life can be. Remember the times you felt that you owned the world and you were the happiest being around. The next moment, everything came crashing down. It seems quite difficult to keep one's heart loving you for long.
I had my hopes high up this time round. I hope, it won't be another failed attempt.

Okkkkkkkkkkkk, Promos are almost over! :D :D :D
Left with Lit and Chem Paper1.
Hmmm, don't hold much hope for it anyw.
Screwed Math and Chem.
I thought I did like superb for Econs compared to MYE.
Well, we will see.
I hope all 6 of us will be promoted (:

Well, Promos had me drained mentally and physically.
Was pretty. Ok, very bad to boyf these days ): ): ):
Sorry boyf! ^^
People say you tend to take things for granted. Perhaps, I'd been taking you for granted these days, thinking that you would still be there for me no matter what happens. But well. Yknow....
I wouldn't have the slightest idea on how to carry on if you weren't here for me. Thanks for being my motivation and giving in to me so much recently :D
I LOVE YOU, BOYF!

Hmmmmm.
Went movie and dinner with boyf on Thurs.
Waves of emotions were overwhelming me. Felt guilty, glad and insecure at the same time. But afterall, I'm glad that I finally apologised to boyf sincerely at the end of it.

Date with Clique on Friday :D
Went to town and shop around. &yeah, bought quite some stuffs. (Stop being a spendthrift!) No pictures 'cause we were all shopping like some auntie !#@$#@%$#% squeezing through the crowd. But still, it had been a long time since we went shopping together w/o school uniform (: (: (:
Met Boyf after his tuition for dinner and went home after that. Mum is finally back home after being away for 2weeks plus again.

Practically wasted my day away today at AMK library with Sam.
But yeah, it beats staying home the whole day.

Zoo on Mon with Clique! ^^
YAY, I AM DAMN FRICKING EXCITED OVER IT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (:
Baking with Sam on Tues.
Date with Boyf on Wed.
YAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAY

I can't imagine anyone of us being left behind as we move on.
I can't fricking wait for Alevel to be over! D:
I can't wait for Wed to come!

Somehow, I think I'd been playing pretend all these while. It seems unreal &unlike me.
"You know yourself best."
Yet, I can't even figure out who I really am.

&I'm missing you quite terribly now

2008-09-21T21:38:00.002+08:00

What if, I'm too afraid to even give it a try?
Words of encouragement are failing me now :/

2008-09-21T00:51:00.004+08:00

Hello there.
I think I've been pissing boyf off a lot recently ): ): ):
Sorry boyf ):

One more day to promos.
ZzzZzzZzzZzz.
I'm so damn proud of myself for sitting in Mos for 10 straight hours and mug like some shitarsecrapfreakmuggertootnerd. Yeahyo.

2008-09-17T22:35:00.004+08:00

Hello.
Prelims are ending tmrw. Promos are starting in like, 4more days I think.
But yeah, prelims end = I can meet boyf (:

It's the start of an emo + whining post....
At this rate that I'm coping with my studies. I doubt I can promote.
"Do our best now. We'll just accept whatever outcome."
Easier said than done, I say.
Imagine yourself leaving a place you'd spent your 8months in. Imagine yourself in a class with no longer 24girls and 2 guys. Or rather, imagine yourself not even in the class with all your friends anymore. (Argh!)

Well, shouldn't I be more practical and start mugging now instead of whining here. (Yeahyo)

OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
I THINK MY BOYF IS DAMN FRICKING CUTEEEEEEEEEEE (:
'Cause he was damn sweet, like ultra?
:D You must be one of my biggest motivation <3

Off to bathe and studyyyyyyyyy.
Chem Bonding is going to befriend me tonight (:

2008-09-10T23:26:00.004+08:00

Hello love, one month &a day had past :D
There will be many more months to come by, I hope.
I think I'll miss you quite terribly.
Prelims, promos and A level please be over soon :S
Still, I should be glad that he calls me everynight. (HEH!)

Promos are in 10days. Like shitarsecrapkukufreakpig and Idk what else.
I thought it was only yesterday when promos are like 40plus days away. Zzz
Nvrminddddddd. Bf says he'll mug with me after his prelims :D
STAY MOTIVATED! I'M SO FRICKING AWAKE NOW THAT I CAN STUDY FROM DUSK TO DAWN AND DAWN TO DUSK. (yeahyo)

2008-09-07T23:03:00.003+08:00

Two o'clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is I gotta get next to you
Yeah I gotta get next to you
Sitting here turning minutes in the hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
Cuz you don't know that I gotta get next to you

Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby, call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I, just gotta get next to you

Asked around and I heard that you were talking
Told my girl that you thought I was out of your league
What a fool, I gotta get next to you
Oh, yeah
It's five in the morning and I can't go to sleep
Cuz I wish, yeah I wish you knew what you mean to me
Baby, let's get together and end this mystery

Hooked onto this song recently againnnnnnnnnn.
Self note: You're supposed to be doing your lit essay and study for tmrw's math test.
I'm going to isolate from lappy from tmrw till 25Sept.
Okkkkkk, no more seeing of boyf till idk when.
Promos are like nearing. Like, seriously nearing.
Had a quarrel with mum ytd and blah.
): ): ):
I hate the uncertainty. But, I hope you'll be able to have more faith in me.
I SWEAR I WILL STUDY LIKE THERE IS NO TMRW FROM TMRW ONWARDS.
ARGH.

Hello there, I think I'm going to miss you quite a bit.

2008-09-06T22:50:00.005+08:00

Hello world.
Things are happening too fast for me to even recognize what is going on in my everyday life. Promos are coming and I have no idea how to deal with it. It seemed like time is moving a lot faster than usual. Holidays are gone, and I have yet to complete any assignment or any revision. I wonder how do I finish that damn Econs revision package, Lit essay and presentation, Math tutorials, Chem tutorials. I'm totally behind whatever that they are lecturing. Zzz. Seriously, I'm fucked up with everything. Ok, I'm fucked up with myself 'cause I am so fricking nonchalant about my studies despite knowing the consequences and now, when I realised that time is really running out- I've no idea how to deal with it.

ZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZzz

School is starting. Zzz
Promos. Zzz
I'm feeling sick. Zzz.

Ahhhhhh.
I hope you'll do well for prelims :D

Wipe of that makeup- what's in is despair
So throw on the black dress, mix in with the lot
You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not

(/Edit)
I said, give me time.
I said, stop pinning all your oh-so-wonderful dreams on me 'cause we both know that I'm incapable of fulfiling them for you.
I said, just give me a break.

Now, how often do you listen to what I'm saying?
We should both wake up to our ideas, shouldn't we?

2008-08-24T23:50:00.001+08:00

I am just like the sun and you the flower.
I’ll provide sunlight for you to blossom.
Sometimes, clouds will prevent me from reaching you.
But you’ll know that I’m always trying to reach you.
Just wait for the clouds to clear if you can’t receive my sunlight.

Sounds cool. I mean ya, sweet.

The gloomy weather is making me emooooooooooooo. Zzz.
ok, it is 29days left. No more 3 in the front. Zomg.
Feel damn sian diao + stressed + pissed. Crapshitarsekillyourself.
ARGH I'm saying so much but I still don't have the mood to do anything.
PW is not helping in anyway.

Fucked upppppppppppppppp. Idk why I feel a sudden fustration within me now. Zzz

2008-08-21T22:57:00.003+08:00

Sometimes Literature can just piss the hell outta me no matter how much I've been telling myself that the text is interesting (which is true to a certain extent) and, it's really easy. Zzz. I've been on this fricking essay for hours and nothing intellectual comes out from my brain.
Random note: I miss my boyf ): Though he pissed me off a lil just now 'cause I gave him like 30 missed calls and 5 msges before he decided to answer the phone. But still.........
I miss you, boyf! (:
Heh, I love this week since I get to meet up with him like practically everyday :D :D :D

2008-08-17T12:08:00.001+08:00

36days left to Promos. Zzz...
Damn Promos. I can't get started on studying.
Ahhhh, and his prelims are starting too.
Double Zzz.
Olympics is a major distraction ):
Those athletics have super hot bodies and like what, zero body fats.
Beach volleyball is super niceeeeeee.
And, Phelps is hot :D

Went out with bf ytd (:
Met him at school and went J8 and erm. Attempted to study. I can't find the mugging mood.
Sam came over for a while. Tempted me to eat again.
Stupid woman.
&blah. Walked around J8 like a zillion times.
Then bf went for tuition and I went to meet cousins.
Dinner with cousins and relatives.
The moment I reached home,
I fell asleep .________.
FATSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I've been eating non-stop. I need to stop eating! ):

EoM and Lit essay. Zzz

2008-08-13T00:23:00.001+08:00

Justin, says:
nvm, aim for 50
Justin, says:
50 enough
Justin, says:
can promote gd enough
♥Angel. says:
haha, you siao ah!
♥Angel. says:
ok, steady
♥Angel. says:
i promote you treat me nicenice
♥Angel. says:
not hawker centre fastfood
Justin, says:
ok steady
Justin, says:
go save this convo down, foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood = motivation, you pig haha

I SWEAR I LOVE JUSTIN WONG LIANGJIN (:
I miss 4LY :X

Ok, I know there isn't much time left to promos. I know my studies sucks like anything. I know it is going to take a lot for me to promote. And I know it myself that I feel like giving up.
"I just wna fail promos so that my parents will be convinced that I should go poly."
Hearing that from others. Make me feel like doing so too ._____________. Sianzxzxzxz

I'm hungry ): But I ate a lot todayyyyyyyyyyyyy. AHHHHHHHHH, fats.

Did I mentioned that I like 9 now? :D :D :D

2008-08-05T00:45:00.001+08:00

Mundane life. ):
Stagnant blog. I shall revive it soon. Soon. When I find the time. School is super duper boringxzxzxzxz and WR is being sucha ultimate bitch that Angel feels like poking her eyes and poke her upside down inside out. She. Robbed me of my sleep, robbed me of my studying time, robbed me of my happiness and blahblahblah. Ok, I exaggerated. But still. WR is not only a bitch, she steals.

Okayyyyyyyyy, I'm seriously sleepy ):
And I think I had been rather happy lately despite of some stuffs. Thank God I still have him and some other close friends :D Dang~
I miss him badly D:

Went for some kids athletic trials on Friday. Apparently to help out and the kids are like super duper ultra cute. I mean, when was the last time you step into a primary school. So the main objective of this competition is for the kids to develop an interest in sports. But apparently, some nutcase teachers who are so goddamn driven by outstanding results don't see this point. XX primary school teacher came to our station, bringing like 10 kiddos with him. And seriously, they are good. Like way much better than other schools.
Teacher: You're so lousy. That's not good enough. You sit there and reflect on how lousy you are. I'm not going to send you to play anymore.
That was what the teacher say to every single kid for every single station. Like, wtfuckkkkkkkkkk. Either he is a totally crap arse who is totally nonchalant about the hurt he brought to others or he's just being insensitive. But either way, he isn't fit to be a teacher. What pissed all of us off was that he was so goddamn insensitive with his words, totally not giving a thought for the students' feelings. Helloooooooo~ they're only like what, 9 year old?

Okayyyyyyyy, I thought 4years of friendship would be able to withstand all kind of troubles. So I guess it's just my naive thinking. If you can just give this friendship up so easily, why the hell am I getting all so upset and trying to salvage this whole situation. I thought I couldn't find a friend like you anymore. You once knew me better than anyone. You were always there no matter what. We could spend hours on the phone not talking 'cause we knew what both of us were thinking about. Yet, now we're nothing more than strangers. Tell me if I should get sad over this loss.

2008-07-20T23:56:00.001+08:00

):
I've been through this. It isn't that difficult, right? I wanna move on. I wanna see how things would turned out to be like. But, I'm scared... The fear of it is so great that I feel like backing out every single day.
I hate it that the thought of escaping strikes me everyday 'cause I've no confidence in myself. To think of it, do I even deserve anything from you?

Idk why. But ytd's conversation made me... Uneasy(?) Insecure(?)

2008-07-19T02:01:00.004+08:00

I'm sleepy.
(My stomach aches like crapxzxzxzxz.)
I'm having cramps.
I'm scared of Parent-Teacher Conf thingy.
I'm happy 'cause I bought my virgin shades for 13bux.
I'm happy 'cause I bought a pair of DorothyPerkins pumps for 9bux.
The staff said that I was cute :D
But I'm sian diaooooooooo... He's asleep! D:
Sam is whining non-stop about her whoever. Ohya, &sam stayed over at my house!
SHE'S IRRITATING THE HELL OUTTA ME.
I learnt something new. Green helps people to get to sleep faster or wdv. I understand why I sleep so much now! I'm going to stop studying in my room. Specifically, my bed. Shucks. Imagine your bed calling out for you, "Come on, just lie and close your eyes for 5min."
Mugging and shopping tmrw :D

2008-07-10T20:24:00.001+08:00

D: 4Us. 0 for essay. I supposed this is the worst ever results I can ever get. Depressing......
My results is affecting my mood. Badly. I'm snapping at everyone &blah. Fuck it. I'm pissed with it.
I'm tired D:
AHHHHHHHH, weekends and tuesday quickly come~

2008-07-09T22:21:00.004+08:00

Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen,
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen.
I hate the ending myself,
But it started with an alright scene.

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing.
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

If I'm so wrong
How can you listen all night long?
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean.

So go, go away, just go, run away.
But where did you run to? And where did you hide?
Go find another way, price you pay

It seems like..... I can never live up to your expectations. I'm worn out. Have it ever occured to you that it's painful to see myself disappointing you over and over again.
The moment you hung up on me was the worst D:

I hate myself for breaking down over such small little stuffs when it's supposed to be make me stronger.

What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger! :D

2008-07-07T00:14:00.005+08:00

Been sitting thinking bout you and I
And wondering why we are not getting along
So frustrated cause, what we had was a happy home
I don't know what the situation is, but I can tell in the way we kiss
We don't talk no more, it feels better when I’m alone

Sometimes I feel like there's no gettin through to you
Like you don't appreciate all that I do
you gotta show me that you want me to stay
Don't turn and walk away

Baby I’m slowly falling out of love with you
I don't know what to do
How did we end up here this way, what are we gonna do
I’m slowly falling out, baby we're tripping off silly things
Boy I need you to meet me half way, if you want me to be with you

I remember when, I be with my friends
You checked on me and made time to call
But how things have changed
Now I don't hear from you at all 
Don't let your pride get in the way
On something we worked so hard, don't throw it away
I’ve been trying to make you see,
Everything you need, is right here in me

Yawns, shagged D:
Did I mention... I love late night phone calls :D
Haji Lane tmrwwwwwwwwwww!
&meeting of therapist. (Ohman, that's so cool lur.)
I swear I'll complete my Math assignment by tmrw &finish up the cross-stitch asap.
Off to bed.

2008-07-05T23:24:00.003+08:00

就这样简单你走过来而我终于明白了自己为何要存在
慢慢的我已经离不开因为我以爱上你了没有任何感应的
如果我说，爱你能不能永远相信这一天想跟着你
跟你说你最爱的笑话我想以后都能在一起
每天想着你以变成习惯一直幻想你在我身边
牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走世界宽的有一些无奈
为何我只有一个该怎么不怕孤单
说好了我们都要勇敢就算不小心迷路了
也能够听见你的如果我说爱你能不能永远相信
这一天想跟着你跟你说你最爱的笑话
我想以后都能在一起每天想着你以变成习惯
一直幻想你在我身边牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走
找到你的心多完美所有感觉多特别
想带你走到世界边缘未来，不变
这一天想跟着你跟你说你最爱的笑话
我想以后都能在一起每天想着你以变成习惯
一直幻想你在我身边
牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走我和你甜蜜的走

Earworm earworm :D
He's not replying me! D:

2008-07-05T01:09:00.006+08:00

Hi. Hello. Hey.
I'm shagged. Mentally. Some things happened. Like usual, I chose to run away from the problem by starting cold war again. It's not as though I don't wanna solve the problems between us. But... I suck at it. Idk how to confront it. Or rather, face you. We once said, Jc won't be affecting our friendship in any way. Somehow, it proved otherwise huh. We changed. (I mean, it's pretty obvious that we're no longer similar.) You have other interests, commitments, friends and yeah, so do I. Well, things don't always happen the way we want them to be. The change you had, the long moments of silence we had, the disputes that we have, the unhappiness and disagreements screaming within us...........
Well, it isn't supposed to turn this way right?
"People change. Adapt to their changes. It's like, how your parents adapt to your changes too." Still, you're changing way too fast for me to adapt to it. It had been an issue troubling me for quite some time. &I supposed you have felt it too. But... it's soooooo us to keep silent about such problems. I hope, the situation will turn for the better. (I really hope so.) I supposed 4years of friendship isn't that easy to forgo.

Wellwell, got back my math paper, like, yesterday.
19.5/70. (Crap shit @#%$#^%*&^)

xx: Hey, what did you get?
yy: U la.
xx: High U or Low U?
yy: (huhhuhhuh?)
xx: above 25 is high, below 25 is low.
yy: WAH. Then I got high U leyyyyyy :D

It's still a comfort okkkkkkkkkkk. (Rawr.) It's too late for regrets. Hmmm, at least MYE is allowing me to wake up to my ideas. So yadayada. Moral of the story, I'm really forcing myself to mug. Since there is only, 10 weeks to promos. I have no intention of retaining or on the verge of retaining once again. History doesn't repeat, right.

Chem Spa was a total piss-me-off session where you spent 2 hours listening to this old blah screeching at her totally act cute &sharp &whatever voice. Irritated the hell outta me. (I think is everyone lor) All I could remember was her crushing us with her oh-so-classy opinions about how inadequete we are in terms of studies/ experimental techinques, contextual knowledge and lastly, our upbringing. Hellooooooo~ talking about upbringing (?)

Random-ness: Xiaxue and Dawn Yang's blog cat-fighting turned out to be quite interesting. Entertaining I supposed.
Which then brought me to think about this........ What is beauty? Is beauty that important? Which reminds me of my first GP essay. Is beauty essential for success in today's society? or something like this. Obviously, I've loads to comment about it.

Went Bugis &Bras Basah with Rachel and Sam to get some art materials. Gossipped, like usual. Well, Sam and Rach has a lot to comment on ah lians attempting to look older than they are supposed to be, attempting to look pretty. (I mean who don't?!) when they are. urm. Average looking &spending the whole journey putting make up. It turns me off a little, but yeah. Overdoing certain things tend to lead to adverse results. Grab Mos, gaigai around Popular and shop-ed at Bugis Junction then tadaaaaa, ice cream treat. Went home, peng &sleep. Woke up with a fricking headache that has been hurting for hours.
(Oh, my tongue hurts ley. As in, it feels like I had scalded it or something. But I don't remember ley. &it had been there for like, 4days? It gets numb sometimes too. So I started whining and everything. Like usual, Sam &Rach told me to shut up and wait for it to subside. Not your tongue what!)

It's going to be a depressing week next week~
(3rdJul :D)

2008-06-26T02:26:00.004+08:00

(I miss the rainbow)
&this song. Hmm, I wonder what will it be like if you weren't here when I needed support so badly.

If the hero, never comes to you
If you need someone, you're feeling blue
If you wait for love, and you're alone
If you call your friends, nobody's home
You can run away, but you can't hide
Through a storm and through a lonely night
Then I'll show you there's a destiny
The best things in life, they are free

But if you wanna cry: cry on my shoulder
If you need someone, who cares for you
If you're feeling sad, your heart gets colder
Yes I show you what real love can do

If your sky is grey oh let me know
There's a place in heaven, where we'll go
If heaven is, a million years away
Oh just call me and I'll make your day
When the nights are getting cold and blue
When the days are getting hard for you
I will always stay by your side
I promise you, I'll never hide

AND KWAN PEIWEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME MY HOUSE TO STUDY OVERNIGHT FOR ECONS. SEE WHAT YOU DOING NOW. SLEEPING ON MY BED, HUGGING MY BOLSTER, SNORING AND DROOLING ALL OVER. I swear, it's impossible to wake her up. I tried. I tried. Talk, laugh, back to sleep. WAKE UP. Still tell people I sleep a lot. You don't seem any better.
(I hate you, Econs.)

2008-06-26T02:18:00.003+08:00

I seriously need to blog 'cause I'm feeling so fricking un-motivated now. No link, I know. But I just wanna do something instead of watching CrissAngel on Channel5 now.
Remembered something all of a sudden.

XX: What you doing?
YY: Eating dinner at MOS now lor.
XX: Huh, so cool ley. I've never eaten there before.
YY: (NANI?!)
XX: So is it very high there?
YY: EH! Is Mos burger. Not M.O.S

(LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL) Tmd, you've so much brains to keep bluffing girls to date you. This kinda thing then you dk. Still tell others, "she like different wavelength as me ley."

It's MYE now. &I'm getting quite. No, very emo about it. But it isn't time to start blabbering about my thoughts about my life and stuffs. Still.......

1. I really wonder what is my purpose in life.
2. Am I really fit to call myself a christian when I'm totally back-sliding and behaving like this now?
3. Is studies my only way to prove my mum that I'm not that exactly useless?
4. What have happened to my studies? Seriously.
5. Am I thinking too much about r/s problems and is he really the main reason why I can't fricking allow myself to get into a serious, lasting relationship.
6. What's the world becoming when girls at age of 13 think that sex is no big deal and being a non virgin is so cool. &What's with the pact at some school in America where all the girs wanna get pregnant? They are even more upset to learn that they're not pregnant.
7. What do I exactly want in life?
8. I've finally convinced myself that JC is a better alternative compared to poly/ aust. So how the hell am I supposed to get myself all motivated again to study.
9. Why the hell am I so dependant on others
10. Why do I miss you that badly.

6months have passed. There's only 1 and 1/2 more years left (Hopefully) for my JC education. Time passed so fast that I didn't even realise I have wasted so much time away. Probably spent the whole time whining about why the hell did I land myself into a Jc instead of going NP doing Psychology/ Childhood services.

Yknow. When love is gone, you can never get it back. When I told you I've fallen for you like, months &months ago. You chose to be nonchalant 'cause you felt that you aren't ready for commitment. Now, when I'm finally over you, getting so used with my everyday life. You told me, "Look, I like you too. But I'm still unable to convince myself to commit into a r/s 'cause I'm unable to give up my singlehood enjoyment (like clubbing, flirting and blahblahblah, I supposed) for you. Still, I like you to be mine." Hey mister. Nice joke. From eyecandies to crushes, back to friends to close friends. &now, how do you want me to react? It started so long back then &there's no way things could get back like before either.

&I fricking hate MYE not because of those stress + studying + crappy mood swings and blah. But, I just can't see him for like sososo many days. RawrRawrRawr. I don't mind having morning papers (At least there's a chance to see him.) It's okkkkkkkkkk. Mye is going to be over for him soon. &Mye is going to be over in like, 14hours later :D I seriously need to lepakkkkkkkkkk

2008-06-17T22:47:00.004+08:00

For the first time. (Maybe not exactly the first time.) I really felt that I had done my friend wrong.

Went out with Char today &it was supposed to be like a shopping trip &blah. Yadayada, a random thought occured- take neoprints. (Yes, laugh laugh laugh. I know it's bimbo &childish &whatsoever.) So yeah, we went to take neoprints. (I feel dumb saying this. Crap) then we left our belongings at one corner while decorating the pictures. (Like, you know?) So Char's bag was more to the outside &I was like nearest to the bag. So it's like, obviously I got to take care of her belongings right. (Duh~) But the next moment, the bag was stolen by some goddamn fucker. Rawr. My bad. And well, she's close to tears and hell. I felt fucking guilty but there's nothing I could do. Explain helplessness. Apologised to her but she keep saying it was alright, and that makes everything worse. Saw her mum screaming like nuts at her. Felt even more guilty. &yeah, almost cried. In short. This is totally fucked up.

Angel. said:
eh woman. sorry leyyyyyyyy
Angel. said:
do you need a spare phone?
( C .)/ Call if u need to find me, please don't sms me. said:
its ok
( C .)/ Call if u need to find me, please don't sms me. said:
nah

AHHHHHHHHHHH. Crap. I feel crap. Crappier. Much more crappier. I wna shoot myself down.

2008-06-16T01:57:00.006+08:00

It's yet another post 'cause I'm feeling goddamn f emo. STOPIT. You're thinking too much, Angelina. It's just another failed love story. Well, why am I even bothered with it to begin with.
GO AWAY HEADACHE. YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF FURTHER.

D: Mood swings, please go away

2008-06-16T00:48:00.001+08:00

Dead blog dead blog. Ok, I shall blog 'cause he asked me to blog. Yadayada, in short. I'm trying to figure out what can I blog about since my life had always been that un-colourful and blah. Like, it isn't that happening as others 'cause I don't have a sad love life, big quarrels or whatever. In short, just nothing interesting.

I wonder how are you supposed to react to your friend's sudden change in character. Does it really occur to you that your friends actually love you more than he does 'cause at least your friends won't be the one hurting you, breaking you down into pieces. Once again, you chose him over us. &worse, you chose to hide it from us.

Tada, once again. Ivan Lim had me thinking through of the defination of love. You know people often say, if you feel at ease with a guy that you're dating, it's actually a good start. But well, you feel at ease with your guy friends too what. So, you might as well hang around with your guy friends instead. Right? Okk, that was just a random thought.
"I tell certain things to my friends and certain things to my girlfriend. A r/s last longer when you don't tell your partner everything."
NANI?! Okkkkkk, that's the first time someone said that to me. Still, isn't your partner supposed to be someone closest to you other than your family?
Can anyone explain to me how are you supposed to feel when you like someone?!

&I'm not emo-ing not emo-ing. It's just that.
My. Studies. Are. Driving. Me. Nuts.
Rawr, that sucks. After spending 6hours studying, I realised I still dk how to do those questions. So yada, I ended up crying. This is retarded~ I'm afraid of MYE. Did I hear myself saying I won't let history repeats when school just started? Damn. It is like. The same old disappointment and sense of failure eating my motivation away. The feeling of your own hardwork not being paid off seems quite demoralising.
Mug harder, Angelina Huang.

(AHHHHHH~ Zomg, he is so cuteeeeeeeee.)
Hmm, one more month to his birthday. HEH. I shall think about that soon. Random part but he is like, super cute 'cause he texted me to don't tune in to the radio in case I get freaked out by the horror story thing again :D
Ok, I know I sound dumb but whatever.
(Stop missing him. Think about your results!)

2008-06-09T02:50:00.003+08:00

It's so fricking lateeeeeeeee. Not exactly very late. But well. I'm not spending my time wisely like, mugging or sleeping? Lack of sleep had caused me to mix my days up.
I'm blogging for the sake of blogging 'cause.. I haven't been blogging for a very long time(?) Nani, I don't care how horrendous my english is and whatsoever alr.
He says he is going to wake up at 8 to study. Wellwell, we shall see alright (:
&I promised Ivan Lim I'll meet him at 1030 at Singpost &I said, "Trust me, I won't be late for sure."
Tmd. He knows I know. Sure late one.
But I'm currently hooked on to reading this book called, "The Art Of Profiling" (Ivan Lim recommend one lorrrrrrrrr.) and watching crap videos from youtube and stuffs. Yes, I know it's lame.

Someone told me that it takes 2weeks to form a habit. (HEH!) I think that's why messaging you is like my habit alrrrrrrrrr :D So it's like. Rawr. I shall not say about it here. This is when my diary comes into place.

Oh, I actually typed a whole long fricking post about what happened to me for the past week. But my retarded hand chose to click on the teenyweeny cross at the top right hand corner so pffff. I think Huiteng's blog tells everything.

2008-06-03T22:09:00.003+08:00

OUR GPP WAS APPROVED :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
(like finally.) Can you even understand how happy that is. I love you for a moment, PW.

Went gaigai with Huiteng and Estelli. Rawr, blog more later when I'm done with transferring files from my #$#% phone to my old poke SonyEricsson phone and update + charge player and mugging which means. I doubt I'll really blog today. (My phone is pissing the hell outta me and I'm spilling vulgarities out like nobody's business 'cause even MSN is not cooperating me. Wtf.)

I SWEAR MY PHONE IS A BIMBO.

2008-06-02T01:22:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD :D
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU

2008-06-01T23:43:00.002+08:00

I miss you, ChungCheng D:
(Hello mister, see. There's really a lake in ChungCheng.)
The super long distance that we have to walk, the super eerie toilets, the super cheena building structures, the "cut-queue" habit everyone has, squats and detention/in-house suspension at foyer.
I'm missing everything about ChungCheng.
(So, I decided to quit typing everything out since I'm having inadequecy in my vocabulary to pen down all my thoughts &it's high time to stop emo-ing about ChungCheng and Loyalty so that I can start my study plan.)
I pray. No 4Us, please.

Angel. says:
D: I REALLY HEN XIANG CHUNG CHENG
Angel. says:
HOW COME I DIDNT APPRECIATE IT LAST TIME
KWAN. says:
lol.
KWAN. says:
shi qu le cai hui dong de qu zhen xi
KWAN. says:
uh huh
KWAN. says:
aiyo
KWAN. says:
you getting emo ovr it again sia you
KWAN. says:
evry month 1 time
KWAN. says:
like menses sia you

Grandma had a fall and was admitted to hospital D: Rawr, Singaporeans ought to be more considerate and stop pushing each other down the bus. But yah, Grandma's doctor ic was quite an attraction. (LOLOL) Cousin said that too okkkkkkkkk.

2008-06-01T00:14:00.003+08:00

I know how it feels
To wake up without her
Lying here all alone
Just thinking about her

I can't believe
Her hold on me
it's something indescribable
I know she knows
But won't you please

If you see my girl
Just tell her i miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while
Cause I know when she
Holds onto me
She's the one thing that I could never live without
Tell her I love her
Just tell her I love her

The way that she moves
You know what it does to me
When I catch her eye
I can hardly breathe

Still can't believe
Her hold on me
She's just so indescribable
I know she knows
But won't you please

Every time that I'm around her
I just go to pieces crushing, tumbling to the ground
I'm so glad I found her

This is getting too retarded. 'Cause I burst out crying while doing my work and on the phone. The thing is, I've no idea what am I crying about (?!) Get a lifeeeee. THIS IS SO FRICKING RETARDED. (You rock, you simply spent 4mins 13 secs to get me to cry.)

I'm still unable to stop thinking about it. How long more will it takes to stop bothering me. Please brainwash me that the incident doesn't mean anything, doesn't affect anything.

(I realised I'm with Estelli more than I'm with my parents That is so gay. &gross. Rawr.)
Wanpei told me something that pissed me off. Not exactly pissed me off. But just disappointed. I think I would be more than happy to hear you telling me that yourself.

This is not an emo posttttttttttttt.
HAHAHAHA, ok. I think I love 30th May :D
(&yayyyyyy. Managed to talk on the phone with him :D)
Rawrrrrrrrrr, I really ought to stop staring at my phone and get you outta my head.

One more day wasted. Nvrm, I shall study tmrw instead.

2008-05-31T00:12:00.001+08:00

:DDDDDDDDDDD
(HEH!)